I am so sorry ASG... I am hoping that you can stay at NASA and continue to chase your dreams because you really deserve to be there. 

 Quite a moving post and I hope the powers that be see it and know how passionate you are about what you do.  You make us all proud.

Great post. This is the first time I have read about how somebody that actually works with shuttle/ HSF feels about not only the "gap," but now a practically all out cancellation of NASA's HSF. I like the idea that the budget includes much more spending for commercial companies, because I believe that is the future, but NASA still needs a destination to be a trailblazer. I have said this a couple times on twitter, but the whole space community needs to unite to fight for a space program of value. I believe that there are enough "spacegirls" and "spaceguys" out there, and if they were all united under one voice, it'd be loud enough to be heard by congress and even the president to reverse the course of cancelling a destination. I myself am an aspiring aerospace engineer. I am about half way through college. I was inspired by VSE to be an engineer that works for either NASA or a private company such as SpaceX. I still have that goal, but I also have a goal to start my own space company. Today was a huge blow to my morale as well.

If congress in the end does fail to save Constellation, or any destination that NASA should have, then we still have the private industry. It will be up to us SpaceTweeps to make the vision of a spacefaring future a reality. We can't let shortsighted politicians snub our future. We have to MAKE our future. Jobs come and go, but our passions will always stay the same; being part of the expansion of our species beyond this planet. It doesn't matter if NASA does it, or spaceX or some company that hasn't been founded yet, as long as it is accomplished in our lifetimes and we are apart of it!

I really sympathise with how you are feeling. Its so difficult for anyone to live with the uncertainty of losing their job, but how much more so when it is your dream job and has been a driving force throughout your life. This is going to be a difficult time for you, but hang on in there and trust that things will work out. You are still the same person with the same skills and experiance and there is still going to be a space program. You may even look back on this in ten years as a positive turning point. Its easy for us to feel angry and disapointed at yesterday's announcement, but I think its important to try and focus on what we can still do to build a future for human kind in space. We had a plan and its been taken away, but we can can still get there. The journey may be different now, but the end goal hasn't changed.

An ordinary day on console. But that unusual, worrying telemetry you kept getting is not gone. All of a sudden, telemetry doesn't make any sense, alarms start buzzing, voice loops become busy, support rooms get crowded.

You all realize you have a major contingency, and you must react. Quickly and effectively. Something really big is at stake.

This is something you were warned about, but never practiced. What can you do? The best option is not yet clear, available information is limited and nothing makes sense.

But you and your colleagues are a talented, experienced team that faced many life-threathening challenges to send humans into an unforgiving environment, allow them to do their job at best, and bring them safely back to the ground.

You have the skills, focus and determination to face a major contingency in your own life. Steely eyed missile men (and women) are the last ones to give up.

I hope that Nelson will try to buy shuttle few more years...

Thank you so much for sharing this with us, for being a window into the real lives of Mission Control professionals. I don't understand why, when they decided to cut Constellation completely, they didn't simultaneously decide to keep the Space Shuttle going for ten more years or at least until we get to the end of this regrouping exercise and decide what we want to do next. Alternatively, they could have decided to scale back Constellation to low earth orbit manned missions only. Either solution would have kept us going to and from ISS under our own steam and, so so crucially, provided for the maintenance and continuity of the vast experience and expertise you and others who work on and around human spaceflight missions have built up over the years, not to mention the inspiration of countless children (and adults!!!) that can only be provided by an active human spaceflight program.

Wow. Thanks ASG for posting this. It's great to hear the opinion of somebody on NASA's front line and to hear their thought process. I am hoping for the best for you and just keep hoping. There is always hope! :)

Thanks for this post. I found it quite moving. Our dreams are very, very important to us, both individually and collectively, and to feel they may be rendered unfulfillable is a distressing feeling. But for those who believe that the exploration of the universe around us will render us the only real chance of long-term survival then this turn events is both depressing and alarming. More so for folks like you who actually committed their lives to the dream that promises so much for the future for so many and is both intellectually and practically satisfying. I sincerely hope all this works out.

Holly,

You have done so much for everyone with your sharing and have helped make NASA less intimidating and more human. Look at all the people who are together like a family today thanks to you.  You are part of that family and we know that you will shine even after shuttle, even through adversity.

Keep moving forward proudly.  Good things will happen for you.

Todd

I'm still scratching my head over the Constellation cancellation and the new budget.  But let me tell you this - I've been around for awhile, and seen some pretty bad stuff happen.  I had only been on board the Space Shuttle program for less than year when Columbia happened.  That, to me, was way worse - we lost human lives.  Yes, it's scary.  True, we don't really know what's out there in front of us, just yet.  But that's what makes us EXPLORERS.  We have no choice but to accept the unknown.  Have faith, it will be tough, but hey, no one said this was an easy business to be in.  Thanks for your post, too, because I know how fear can feel.  Not fun.  But you have a lot of support.  And I can also tell you - I've managed to survive my share of layoffs.  If you have talent, skills, drive and ambition, you'll find a way to make it work.  Hang in there!